Following a suicide attempt I was sectioned ‘for my own safety’ in a NHS psychiatric hospital.
During my 4 month admission there were a number of incidents that have left me with PTSD from my time on the ward.
I wanted to list these to give some awareness to what ‘patients’ are subjected to when at their most vulnerable.
For context, I am a young female in her mid 20s. I was on eyesight observations 24hours a day for approximately 3 of the 4 months. This means a member of staff is with me 24/7 and watches even during showering and toileting etc. typical ‘shifts’ last 1 hour on an observation to ensure staff are able to remain alert and engage as required.
Some of my experiences whilst on eyesight observations:
– Vapes and foods going missing whilst I slept. (As doors are locked, it is only me and staff who have access to my room…)
– staff repeatedly telling me ‘I better not need a poo whilst they are on my observation’
– staff telling me that as a Caucasian British girl I am selfish for ‘being suicidal’ when they are from ‘Nigeria’ and if I want to know what a hard life is I should ‘go and visit’
– not having a single female staff member work on my ward for the 12hour night shift regularly meaning ‘if I needed the toilet I had to give them 30mins notice or have a man watch me’
– Having male staff members pick up my tampons and ask me ‘what they are and what they are for’
– being told that I cannot go outside (other than the enclosed garden) for over 3 months.
– being told that suicide is selfish and I am selfish by my eyesight when I am in distress.
– having my requests repeatedly denied by my consultant to reduce my eyesight observations as I was finding the intrusion of privacy so distressing
– having no bedding or clothes (other than 1 set to wear) in my room but my ‘eyesight’ tucking themselves in for the night in the chair with pillows, blankets etc. I still have photo evidence.
– having a nurse in charge refuse to even look away for 5 seconds (I was prepared to remain verbally speaking throughout..) so I could insert a tampon as the ward had run out of applicator tampons.
– being told by my consultant if I remained incident free for a whole weekend I would be granted grounds leave with staff (my first walk outside) only to have him go back on the agreement despite me managing to remain incident free.
– when a girl died overnight staff immediately telling me it was ‘misadventure’ not suicide and that it was attention seeking gone wrong.
– staff repeatedly sitting for an hour on their phones playing games whilst on my eyesight whilst I was in significant distress.
I could continue but I think you get the gist of my experience. Despite being subjected to the most invasive intrusion I was still able to significantly harm myself throughout this time (requiring ambulance and conveyance to hospital) on multiple occasions.
Mental Health inpatient units are not fit for purpose and I will remain traumatised for the duration of my life.
This is my story as a: Patient
NHS Trust (or Provider): Don’t know/prefer not to say
Timespan: 2-3 years ago
Did you complain?: No
Did the Trust (or Provider) retaliate?: Prefer not to say or N/A
Would you recommend PALS as an impartial intermediary?: Prefer not to say or N/A
After investigation, did the Trust (or Provider) respond satisfactorily?: Prefer not to say or N/A
Did you take your complaint to the Ombudsman (PHSO)?: Prefer not to say or N/A
Your ethnicity: Prefer not to say
Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: Attempted suicide more than once
Are you autistic?: Prefer not to say
Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: Prefer not to say
