93 year old mum, few health problems (Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, mobility issues, early stages of dementia). Lived on her own with some help from my brother, but pretty much independent.
Had a fall, developed hypothermia. Taken to A&E. In less than 24 hours, whilst she was still recovering, they tried to get her to sign a DNR. Both mum & my brother kept telling them no. After three days, they wanted to keep her in for observations, even though she had made a remarkable recovery. Something about potential heart problems but nothing specific. At this point, they said she could now only have one visitor per day, for one hour only and had to be the same person, due to Covid! Reluctantly accepted this but as my brother has been in, I didn’t try to see her as I didn’t think they would let me in. This was on the Monday, four days after her fall. Brother couldn’t go in as he was then working. Big mistake on our part.
Kept in daily contact with the hospital. Mixed information given. Said they were looking at a convalescent home for her which seemed odd. She wanted to go home and we wanted a care package put in place. Still some supposed issue with her heart. Spoke to her on her mobile but then she wasn’t answering. Hospital said she was ok. Spoke to them on the Friday morning to find out what was happening. No change. Then late afternoon on the same day, received a call saying that her family needed to come to see her asap. Told us she was End Of Life. Went straight there. She was unconscious. We were told she had a chest infection and probable pneumonia. We pushed for her to have a saline drip. Left in the early hours of Saturday morning.
Around 9am, my brother arrived at the hospital. By lunchtime, I started to make my way there. Received a phone call from my brother to say she was awake!!! Arrived to see her sitting up, talking, asking for food & a cup of tea. No explanation from anyone. We gave her food and water. No nursing staff gave any assistance. How was she deemed to be End Of Life? It seemed that she had been neglected, malnourished and dehydrated.
From the next day, my brother and I did a shift each, covering 9.30/10am until 6pm daily. We tried to get her physio as she hadn’t been out of bed for 11 days. It was pretty much non existent. We tried to get mum moving in bed, fed her and encouraged her to drink. She was coherent. No signs of any pneumonia. Again, no explanation at all. They hated us asking questions every day that we were there. It frightened me to leave her in their ‘care’ for the 15 hours of us not being there.
After two weeks of our daily intervention, they told us the patient in the next bed had tested positive for COVID so mum would have to isolate for 10-14 days. No visits from us. We then got her to discharge herself from the hospital as I knew that if that happened, she would die in there.
We got her home but she gave up on life, stopped eating and drinking and died peacefully three weeks later in her own bed, with her family nearby.
I hope that this encourages people to push back on what you are told, especially for elderly relatives in hospital. I will never trust the NHS again.
This is my story as a: Family member
NHS Trust (or Provider): St George’s University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust
Timespan: Spring 2022. 2 weeks
Did you complain?: No
Did the Trust (or Provider) retaliate?: Prefer not to say or N/A
Would you recommend PALS as an impartial intermediary?: Prefer not to say or N/A
After investigation, did the Trust (or Provider) respond satisfactorily?: It wasn’t investigated
Did you take your complaint to the Ombudsman (PHSO)?: No
Your ethnicity: Prefer not to say
Have you experienced suicidality due to this?: No
Are you autistic?: Prefer not to say
Are you disabled as defined under the Equality Act 2010?: No
